Shotgun Wedding

Years ago, I became an Ordained Minster in the Universal Life Church. I have performed now 3 weddings, officiating 2 Kentucky marriage certificates. The most recent was this week.

Monday afternoon I get a call from a friend and she asks me if I can marry her and her boyfriend. I ask when, and she says that day. I am puzzled, but I quized her and made sure she knew it was totally legitimate, and she did. She had the marriage certificate all made out already. She wants a real ceremony this summer and for me to officate then as well. Meanwhile, I said for her to come on over and be sure to bring two witnesses.

I had been cleaning house for a few days and am very glad I had. A couple hours later I got a call that they were on their way over. I slipped into a Tartan Kimono and of all things a Chinese hat. Never one to match much, I went for a beaded belt instead of the traditional Obi. It was a good thing I did, because they showed up with a video camera and dressed to the nines. I double checked with the groom to make sure that once the certificate is signed by me, and filed with the county, they will have to get a divorce to end it. he understood.

I was expecting a simple formality, and they then start asking for vows. Chronic trouble carrier, Gina agreed to write vows for the groom. They were odd and personal to say the least. The bride's were brief. They had a video camera and were videoing the process and my dog jumping up on them, and me doing the officiating, and the cell phone rings. It was the mother of the bride. She had decided to come after all, and was on her way. Soon the doorbell rings and I have a full blown wedding party in my living room. The best man, started complaing that he had to get back to work so we made sure we had all his information down, and he was free to go. We made small talk for a bit, and they were on their way.

You can call it a wedding if you like, I call it just another monday episode in my Reality Show.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

I have so many things racing through my head.

dreams, plans, ideas, desires

my adderall has got me in chatterall mode.

I cannot even stay focused on my non-focus.

I am switching to listology to make a list of things I want to do.
--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

Media Whoring

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True Bisexual Angst: part zwei.

For my recent birthday, I vowed to be open to my interest in women as well as men. Last night I blew two chances to express it. Both these women flirt shamelessly with me, and only know me to be the gay guy. The one that bothers me most is the super model looking one. She and I have a mutual friend that is a very sexy man. She is only here from New York once or twice a year. She was looking at "JM" and said he is so sexy. Later she and I were talking and I just teased "Is JM flirting with you?" and she said so, I then countered with, "cause I thought he was flirting with me!". I then leaned over and said but I know the secret of my getting with him. she leaned over and asked me. I said he doesn't sleep with guys alone, but he does sleep with couples. She looked at me non-plussed and said "We could be a temporary couple". Now, I did not follow up on that. What would have been a good response to that. Hell, I should not have even needed that in to let it be known. But I guess my question is. How to I discretely tell women that know me as gay, that I am interested in them physically?

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

True Bisexual Angst

I am now playing with two married men that are fooling around with me behind their wive's back. I take the convenient attitude that it is mostly their problem, and if it was not with me it would be with someone else. It fits 'my friends with benefits' needs and there is little or no chance they'll want a relationship with me.

I do not think this is true swinging. In each case I ask if their wife would be interested in a 3way, and they look at me like I am from the Planet Claire.

I am not very possessive with my partners when I am with them, but usually insist on the rules for me apply to you as well. and Its not cheating if the rules allow it. I had one guy say he'd break up with me if I ever cheated on him, yet he cheated on me 3 times. What's up with that?!?

With the first guy, he's married since we had last done anything. I asked him to make sure it was ok with his wife. I did not want the guilt associated with messing up his marriage. He explained he was the same old same old he always was, and has already "fooled around" on his wife and it would be nothing new. The reason I rekindled the FWB relationship is pretty serious, and some readers may understand, some may not. I will explain it.

I had major surgery early this year. The Sex after surgery pamphlet, I received, explained when I should be able to resume sexual activity. But it cautioned I should do so with a regular partner, saying a new partner would cause undo stress, and may be problematic. My dilemma was, while I was not well, I had a very long dry spell. I had no regular partner, especially one I could call out of the blue and say "hey wanna fuck, to make sure I still can, without blowing up"?

Except this guy. I called him and explained the sitch, and he agreed - imagine that. I was his first guy ever, and now he is like a bisexual spokesmodel (LOL). This kind of bond is difficult to break. So anyway, he comes over one night, and we basically became 2 monkeys for a night, and I was happy to learn everything worked with no side effects.

ALSO, since then, I feel 21 years younger now and have had a lot of great sex since. Mostly of the kind the booklet warned against! The other married guy is a bi-curious ex-football player that seems to step out on his wife quite a bit. Well, I assume so since his profile says "single", but when I asually asked him if he was indeed married he said yes, with not much hesitation.

This article is more a treatise on my thoughts of this, that I just did not feel like blogging about. I read the comments on my articles, and would really be interested in what people have to say about what I am writing about. I love discourse.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

sex sex sex

I cannot believe the sex I am getting lately. Its like I am going through my second peak. Maybe I am. I had some major Os on saturday, burst a blood vessel or two. I think it was the nitro glycerine. Not sure if there has been studies on that or not.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

so i join a sex personals site

Since my uber recovery from my heart troubles, I have noticed not a resurgence in my sex drive, but a surgence. I feel like I am 20 again, and have the hormones to prove it. I had taken advantage of this sex website's free membership. Finally I decided to splurge the $20. One of the features is free member webcam broadcasting. I can look through the "who's broadcasting their webcam" list and blug in. I can sort by men, women, women & men, 2 women or 2 men. Well there are a lot mroe men broadcasting. I guess we are all show offs. Its interesting when a guy sees a guy viewing. Some get a kick out of it, some immediately turn their cam off. Others have asked me to stop watching. One guy though decided he was going to give me a show. He cam up to the camera and turned around and spread his ass cheeks. I guess if he likes to view gynocological shots of women, gay men want to see analogicial shots of men. I don't. A guido from brooklyn, was just chilling in his wife beater with no pants. When I would score him low, he'd stand up and wave his dick at me. Very funny. It was like I was classically condition the exhibitionists. You xan score them 1-5 or no score. I do not think many people use it. Anyway, if they did stuff I liked I bumped it up. sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. I liked the guido enough to keep him a 4 most of the time. Then I would rate him a five then immidiately drop down to a 1. He'd stand up and wave his dick at me, I'd give him a five and so on. This girl I was watching would get a five every time she smiled. I also encouraged her to show her breasts. Its a very weird experience.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

This is Huge

\Last night I was reading an article in Vanity Fair about Johnny Cash's last
ten years with his new record producer. It also talkd about June's poor
health.

Somehow, when reading it, I realized I lost my Five -Year fixation. I am
not sure how forthright I have been on this here blog about my 5 year
premonition. I just could not make plans for anything beyond 5 years. I
think I fixated on that timespane because so much of the success literature
refers to success rates before and after 5 years. Well latley my mood has
been very elevated. My "joie d'vie" has been "très magnifique".

I feel like I did at 20.

I was concerned about this 5 year plan. I have heard about a lot of
"anniversary" deaths. People hoping to live for one more Christmas,
birthday, aniversary, new year, or very special episode of "friends". Then
they seem to give up. They attained their goal. One of my goals with
counseling was to get away from that time thought. I kicked it without
realizing it, until last night. Earlier I was reading about this supposed
time travel guy John Titor and what life is supposedly going to be like in
2035. While skeptical I put myself in that year as well, and wondered if I
would like it. I'll be 62 then. It may be a while since I have done
"higher math" but I believe, even given the sorry state of education in
america today, most school children woutl agree that 31 years is greater
than 5 years.
###

ABC7Chicago.com: Blues Brothers, Elvis impersonators con police

It's things like this that I use to explain that I am from Minnesota.
ABC7Chicago.com: Blues Brothers, Elvis impersonators con police

Blues Brothers, Elvis impersonators con police
October 13, 2004 (CRYSTAL, Minn.) — Minnesota police were responding to a call of a convulsing Elvis Presley impersonator -- but they ended up in a high-speed chase with a man dressed as one of the Blues Brothers.

Crystal police say they were called to a veterans hall Monday morning and when they arrived they saw a man dressed as Elvis on the ground convulsing. But when they approached, he jumped up and yelled "Viva Las Vegas!" -- and then started singing show tunes.

At about the same time, two women said a man dressed as John Belushi's character in "The Blues Brothers" had stolen their car and driven to the airport. Police went after him -- and after chasing him around the airport, they caught and arrested him.

The police captain says "it's one of those things that you stop and scratch your head, and you think...'Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"' He says the Elvis impersonator and the fake Blues Brother were drinking together at the VFW. When asked how much they drank, he said blood tests will probably indicate "quite a bit."

(Copyright 2004 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Ugh

My birthday is less than a month away. 41. Last year at this time, I was wracked with depression. On my way to heart failure. This year, I have a whole different attitude. But I am not too excited about it. But hey, its another year that I have been ALIVE. My god, nothing on this earth is guaranteed, even living until 41. I am so glad I started writing this pity fest, because as I spilt out those age cliches I realized how little I believed them. This birthday is going to be my best ever. No one needs to throw a party, I don't care if I get any gifts. I am excited to be alive.


wow

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

down dooby doo down down

I think I need to have the talk with D. I have no spark, and cannot see one developing. Fortunuately, we gays have the luck of turning friends-to-lovers much easier than the straights. So I may just need to have the talk. I'll call him today, and maybe see if he wants to do lunch tomorrow.
--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Philips coat of arms.

[...PLEASE STAND BY...]

###

Naked Day

It was naked day today. I am not sure why I have not done it before. I may have in grad school, but this time, when I left the house, i wore as little as possible. Speedo to let the dos out, just a jock and shorts at the gym.

I even made a point to hang out more naked in the locker room than normal.

When I cooked, I did use an apron, but for heaven's sake, I was sauteeing! By the way, world's best pasta.

I am figuring out a letter to the editor on the smoking ban, but metaphorically. It should be good. I want to do a bit of research on public health outbreaks of history, and be against the efforts to stop them. I am thinking yellow fever, typhoid mary, the 1918 flu epidemic.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

Nook dook a doo

I finally got some last night. Since my surgery I was kind of skittish about doing it. Sure I did visit rosey palm quite a bit, but I was reluctant to play hide the sausage. The book I got about sex after surgery suggested I do not try to prove myself by getting a bunch of new conquests. That presented a dilemma, since I did not have a current anything. When I realized I had boxed myself into a life of celibacy, I rebelled. I decided to contact a former partner I was still comfortable with, and asked if we could start a casual non-committal sexual relationship for a brief time. He agreed. The nature of our relationship has long been something between friend and fuck buddy. So it was perfect. We had kind of drifted apart since he started his new career, but being good friends we could pick up where we left off.

It was great, and I did things I never used to do. I think my heart failure used to affect my performance. I am also in much better shape than I used to be. So vigorous acrobatics were well within my grasp. [bigg smile]

So now I feel I am able to move on and explore. I got my Mojo back, and most of all my confidence that my defib, will not always go off. My relationship with him was even such that we could joke about it going off when we climaxed within seconds of each other. zzzztttt. He said. hehe.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

what a way to spend 9/11 eve.
###

am I crazy? u-B-da-JUJ

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Not surprising. The shrink I saw for my SSI said I was O-C "out the wazooo"

Not sure what histrionic is, but the narciccistic was something I suspected.

I like the sound of schizotypal.

###

Kevin Fillips

[ ♥]

PS: at least I have this to look forward(?) to.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished me to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how I matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

website software

I've used fancy web page software, and I have used bare bones webpage software, I have found some to be easy to use, and some very tedious. Some are easy to fix quick updates, others are near impossible, even if you "know" how. But coffee cup is all the best examples of the good parts of all I have tried.


[ CoffeeCup - HTML Editor & FTP Software ]

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

Hot to trot

Ok, so Wednesday night I work at Buffalo's. I am the corporate insider. I had it out with the town drunk. He called the boss, the boss read his act, and sent him home. Then Freddy showed up. Nice guy. Hot bod. Good Ole' Boy. But very very str8.

the next day I meet Tony. One of those rare moments that my toes curl, and stay that way. Hot, nice, and hinted his is bi. Last night I was completely noninterested in Freddy. Today, I started to question Tony's truth factor. He could very well be a chronic liar. I do think he sugar coats things too much. His roommate/girlfriend issue seems weird. He calls her his roommate, others call her his girlfriend and point to their shared bed in a 2 bedroom apt. And her bitching to him about "where he is" and stuff. He did make a point to tell me that he made a mistake by sleeping with her. I kind of wonder if he is not shacking up in her apartment. That would make sense.

Today when I told my stand up loading dock make out session with a cast member of HBO's Oz - story, he seemed remarkably disinterested. Rachel on the other hand was star struck.

I did invite him to partake in Absinthe this weekend. Lets see if he takes me up on it. He did admit to programming my number in his phone, and was taken aback when he found out I had another number.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

Multimedia Backlog

At work ever have an inbox overflowing with work, you just want to sweep it in the garbage? That's how I am with unwatched movies. My netflix pile is unwatched. My DVR movies are being deleted without watching. I do not know why I just do not let it do it itself, but I go through a culling process. But in defense of that. When I program a capture, so to speak, it is something I think I want to watch. Much like live TV, I can change my mind. Its just there if I "need it". I always have a bank of shows I am interested in watching. Its just the time commitment of a movie that gets me.

I am cleaning house to one. But some of them have subtitles, and I do not speak the native languages. I would never get anything done. I hope you do not fail to see that I said I am cleaning house, yet am some how writing this......

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

Archives working

I figured out what was wrong with the archives. I changed the name or something, and it affected the file names of the archive pages, but did not change the links until i republished.

I find it interesting to see my posts, when I was sick, and trying to find out what was wrong. dec - february. most of my writing moved to kevin3 in feb. I still used this as my personal deep thoughts, and things I want to remember.

--Motto--

Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

I talk the talk

I talk the talk about what I throw together to wear, but only rarely do people get to see them when they are not there. I am breaking down my barriers. I am putting up or shutting up. As I get ahold of the pics, and scans I'll post them.

Here is my 4th of July Parade costume from 2001. I had been sporting a zigler-esque handlebar and goatee since I saw Moulin Rouge. The theme was Hawaiian Shirt Day. When I say theme, I do not mean the parade theme, but our personal theme. Our bar, and the bar across the street, declared it Hawaiian Shirt Day. Well the manager of it, and myself did. But they bought into it. Our bar got RW&B Leis, sailor caps, pom poms and stuff. the staff all decided to wear hawaiian shirts. Well for me, the ringleader the preasure was on. So I headed to the fabric store, found appropriate fabrix and had a custom shirt made. Cranking it up a notch, I decided to wear a hawaiian skirt over a petticoat, my stache was waxed to razor points. My feet were behooved with Rollerblades.
--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

The Green Fairy Arrives

And no I am not talking about the Great Gazoo from the Flintstones. A friend of mine picked up a bottle of Absinthe for me in Spain. Oops I mean Spanish Perfume. A little dab behind each ear, and artistes and writers follow me around like cats to a milk truck.

I've had the "fake" stuff since before the end of last year, and I have two of the slotted spoons. I am going to make it a ritual. Supposedly I'll have to consume mass quantities to get the hallucinatory effect. I wonder if that's what we could start calling Jaegerneister blackouts. We Hallucinate we are concious. Or would that be unconscious?
---
a Later Splat Post!
####

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

marzidoats

little lambs eat ivy

Chatty Clerks

Ever wait in a line behind someone that insists on carrying on a conversation with the clerk. First you think its related to the transaction, then you see the give and take of rel conversation. To what end? Lines can be long enough, and that little bit of "golden time" talking with the clerk about their views on the state of NCAA Lacrosse, does not make up for the time wasted getting up to that point.

If there is a line, chit chat should be kept to a minimum. There are ways to be pleasant without feeling the need to pour your heart out to someone. I would not want to live in a society where its like the "Soup Nazi on Seinfeld".

Tonight I did get a 10% discount because the clerk proceeded to tell the indecisive family of 6 in front of me, which colleges are acceptable for her 17 year old to consider. I did not ask. I did not look as exasperated as I felt. I hope. So she must have known how incompetent she was. Not about the conversation, but for not knowing where any of the buttons were on the register. I was waiting to hear "where's the one?" or "The any key?" All the orders were missing something by the time they appeared on the computer screen. Sprinkles on a cone, pecans on a sundae. For me it was the chips in my mocha chip blizzard. This of course was conversation unrelated.

Old grocery clerks are notorious for the chattophilia. Sometimes they get so involved in their off-topics they forget the minor details, like giving you your cash back on your debit card. One even had to ask me how much I got, even though I told her as I was pressing the buttons.

I was in the service industry a long time. I know how special the human connection can be with service people. But you run a risk when you possibly irritate your other and future customers. When I was waiting tables I spread myself around to all the tables at one point in the meal, so some did not feel lesser. It can be very irritating if you feel you have to be best friends with the staff to get any service. For that matter, I made a point to be a bit chatty with strangers. But I did not do it to the detriment of service.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

CRASH

I am pretty forgiving when it comes to movies. I try to figure out the creator's purpose. Once I find out what that is, I can enjoy a movie on its own terms. I think I mentioned this on how I rate movies based on their genre as opposed to all movies on the same scale. That is how "Pajama Party" and "Being There" can both rate 5s in my book.

I can think of only a few movies that I have had trouble with this ability. The one that comes to mind this morning is "Crash". I will not deny it was a powerful movie. I saw it once only, possibly 7 years ago and am still thinking about it. I remember wanting to see i,t because then New Line Films Owner: Ted Turner, delayed it's release until after he sold the company. This contrasts greatly with the recent Disney Miramax 9/11 squabble.

I thought "How dare he?" Sure, he is the owner and all, but David Cronenberg is an artiste, what is he thinking? Crash, if you do not know, is about an underground society of people sexually aroused by car crashes. The concept was just beyond my comprehension. I am pretty sure I finished watching the movie. But then again, I can name only one movie I walked out of a theater on. I decline to name it at this time.

But needing a purpose, I found one. This movie put me in the perspective of sexual misunderstanding. I am a gay man, and I repeatedly hear from my straight brethren that they "do not understand" or "There is now way..." in reference to gay sex. Until seeing this movie, I did not understand that feeling. I always pegged it as some sort of sexually repressed denial. But having seen Crash, and feeling the same way about Crash Fetishes, I have an understanding that "not understanding & never" are indeed possible.

I still did not like the movie, but I liked the effect it had. If that as the directors intent - Bravo! Now I am much more open-minded about people's sexual predications

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Nine Dead Gay Guys

Nine Dead Gay Guys was funny. Of course, as with "Something About Mary" I felt a bit uneasy laughing at some of the things. But it was an equal opportunity lampoon. It poked at just about everyone. There was a Guy Ritchy or Danny Boyle sensibility with the movie. Plots moved forward backward sideways and possibly inside out. It was almost a screwball comedy on the order of "What's Up Doc?".

The netflix DVD I had was filthy or scratched. But I did not notice how bad it was skipping, until about "20 minutes" into it, I noticed the DVD player clock had 40. So there may be some holes in my understanding of the plot. But I did not want to stop watching. To interrupt what it was, in case the damage was permanent. I did not want to end the experience. Once ended, I took it out, and it was smudged. I'll watch it again this weekend with the commentary on. I hope it was not scratched, if it was, I'll send it back to Netflix and ask for a new copy. I really did like it that much. I want to view the asides. This was very telling, because usually with a skipping disk, the first thing I do is take it out and wipe.

Nine Dead Gay Guys - is one of the most irreverent movie titles I have seen, but the movie is too.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Pajama Party

I have long been fascinated by the 60's beach movies, but held them in a state of muted disdain. My mom loved them, and talked about them, but I never watched them. But now, with DVR and Showtime unlimited, I am exposed to a bunch of them.

I recorded "Gidget Gets Married", and was uninterested. Today, on a lark, I recorded and watched "Pajama Party". I loved it and give it 5 stars (for what it is).

I have a unique ability to have a sliding scale when rating movies. A 5 star beach flick is not the same to me as a 5 star drama. It's like when a teacher grades a good student's paper harder than a struggling student. I am used to this enlightened form of discrimination, as I was always the bright kid. When they were not harsher on me, I ended up testing out of a lot of things, and not learning much. But enough of the Declaration of my Genius...

I enjoyed "Pajama Party" for all its hokeyness and silliness. Much on the same level I enjoyed "Who's That Girl". But that is a subject of a different article.

I wonder if "Pajama Party" is representatives of the genre, and should I look forward to a summer of fun with these movies? or was it anomalous and the best of the (worst?) best?

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Cult of the Damned

On Showtime this month is the forgettable "Cult of the Damned" from 1969. The original title was Angel, Angel, Down We Go. I set my DVR to tape it because of the title. I thought it would be a cheesy EuroTrash soft gore horror flick, on the order of Jess Franco.

Nope.

I think the filmmakers were on acid when they made it. I think the actors were huffing airplane glue. It is next to impossible to understand. Jim Morrison wannabes, Georgie Girl clones (or Is that Tracy Turnblad?). A Bisexual Billionaire, a hard drinking, ex porno actress, wife, polymorphous perversity and some funky psychedelic art.

If you can tell the difference between the dream sequences, the fantasies and the plot, than you are not paying well enough attention. I think it was made to be watched, when the viewer is all f%$^ked up. I am going to DL it to my VCR, or keep it in "I Delete" mode until I can watch it on Absinthe.

A friend of mine, picked up a bottle for me, as a gift, in Spain last month. I should have it this week. I will try and keep some Absinthe soused notes and write a follow up to this review. One that will make a little less sense. While I am at it, maybe I will watch Carnival of Souls, and David Lynch's Dune, as well.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Four Month Anniversary

I've done the math, and realized its been 4 mos since my surgery.  I am going to go out and celebrate.  People on the Fourth (The third -- don't ask) could not believe how much different I look than when I got out of the hospital.  I cannot believe how fast these 4 mos. Have gone by.  How many changes have happened.  How much better things seem to be now.  Saturday I felt healthier than I did last year, healthier than I did in 2000 for that matter.  Makes me wonder if I was affected somewhat even then.  But it could have really been my Asthma.

###

 

Kevin

Joe Workshop

My years of watching DIY and HGTV and Fine Living, and Discovery Home, and
reading, PM, PS. Readymade, and a slew of others has finally come to fruit.
I got my workshop up and running. This has been a "dream" of mine for 15
years, when I bought my first house. I had a nicer one there, but this one
will do fine. I got it organized today and managed to complete 3 or four
projects today alone. What caused this? I repainted 2 tables and a cart,
and started work on a step stool. I started to crave a space to do it in.
I had this huge workbench downstairs. I pimped it out with a phone, a fan,
and am lined up to have cable down there. For now an MP3 capable boom box
will do just fine.

Actually, the a/v junction box is already mounted, I took care of that in my
frenzy this morning. Now I just need to run cables/cords from my DVR/DVD
Player upstairs down to the central junction, from which I can get the
signal up to my bedroom as well. I opted only for the digital cable in the
Surround Sound room. My big dilemma is whether or not to have dvd go down
to the junction, which would allow simultaneous playing of all my a.v
content on 3 TV's simultaneously. Or just the cable audio and TV signal,
which would allow the cable music to play elsewhere when the dvd player is
playing. As I discuss the options with Herr Blog, I realize the latter
would only benefit a multi-person household. I live alone. So the a/v
signal will come form the Television outputs, which will pull the signal.
No wait, the dvd sound does not ever enter the TV. I'll figure a way to do
it. I think the Surround Sound system has a l/r RCA analog out, of which I
an run to the TV, which will fix that.

I got so into the workshop I kept postponing my gym appointment. Ultimately
I realized I can go tomorrow now that I am in phase 3. Tomorrow I need to
get down town, and get a copy of my deed, meet with my attorney, talk with
my counselor, drop off a CD, then off to the gym. I'll probably be too worn
out to work out. But I would not have traded this day for any other.

My mom pointed out that today is the forth anniversary of me being admitted
to thew hospital. Knowing what I know now, I was almost dead that day.
Except that I am freakishly strong.

I was scheduled with a Dr through Social Security to give me a physical. I
hope they check my heart function, because I look like a million bucks.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

I'm gonna strut

I finished my 8 weeks of stage 2 cardiac rehab today, which is 24 visits of monitored workouts at essentially a gym. For the last weeks, I have been doing the treadmill, bike, rower, stepper, and recently, weights. They measured me at the beginning, weight and percentage body fat. They took the same measurements today. I was astounded at my progress. Incidentally, someone today, asked me if I was a marine or a former marine due to my work out progress while still in a monitored state. He said that's about the only kind of man I would expect to be able to do what you do as soon as you are doing it. He asked, I told. I have never been a member of the Arm Forces, but I did watch a lot of M*A*S*H.

The math... 157# * 17% bf = 26.69# fat, 130.31# the rest 161# * 14% bf = 14.51# fat, 146.49# the rest 26.69# - 14.51# = 12.18 pounds of fat lost 146.49# - 130.31# = 16.18 pounds of muscle gained

Ok here are the numbers.
I was 157 pounds when I started, and am 161 pounds now
my body fat percentage when I started was 17%, and 14% now
this represents 12.18 pounds of fat lost, and 16.18 pounds of muscle gained.

according to some chart 14-17% is considered "fit" 6-13% is considered
"athletic", but I think that is pretty damn good.

###

Kronick
...but still Feelin' Better, Stronger, Faster

---

Second Hand Smoke free since February 2004
... to infinity, and beyond!

---

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Black Tie White Noiz

Some guy once said derisively that I have a tuxedo for every day of the week. Depending on what you count as a tuxedo, that is not entirely correct. I have 3 Black standards, 2 True Navy Standards, a Black waist coat, a white standard, and royal blue sequined. So technically that is 8, more than one a day for a week. But The white one is in real bad shape, as it is vintage 80s, the blue sequins is a novelty jacket of very low quality. My standards have a variety of lapels, and a variety of designers/brands. Two are former rentals.

One night, I was a presenter at a local awards show. One of he catty queens said to me in all seriousness, "I thought you'd go all out for this". I thought two things, this is a formal awards show in an ornate historic theatre, covered by the press. A tuxedo is appropriate. The other thought was "Who is this bitch criticizing a Dior?" I do have a reputation as a flashy dresser, and that is mostly what I think she meant, but geez.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Speedo Poly Mesh Square Leg Male

I found the swimsuit I want. The Speedo square, for under $25 - Penney's Dick's or a few other places.
Speedo Poly Mesh Square Leg Male

Cool Idea

I have this cool idea. Related to a sleeping porch, I wonder if I would be allowed to build my hard-wall tent in my back yard as a summer sleeping room? I could tuck it away in the corner of my yard, and have a raised boardwalk leading up to it. It could straddle the swale. Much like the garden shed, it could even replace the garden shed, "hiding" completely. Step one would be building a deck platform. Then the walls, and frame, then the cotton duck or canvas.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Flirting

People are flirting. Today I think the young male pharmacist was
flirting with me. It was just small talk, but it was the way he was
talking. And the fact he rushed over to help me when he saw me. Not
passing go, not collecting $200. If he'd have been a woman, he'd have been
twisting his hair and touching her breasts. Last week it was the bank
teller. Or maybe I am turning into one of those said "s/he wants me" kind
of people. I do not think everyone is, it seems to happen more
when I am dressed real well. I did look especially buff this morning. My
snug Tee accentuated my chest, and my pecs poked out my vest.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Cable

Oh the joys of digital cable and DVR. I wonder if I can do anything but
watch TV now? with 40 hours of programming to be saved, 8 showtimes, a
gazillion channels, an voracious appetite for time shifting, east coast west
coast channels. I am in La-z-boy heaven. I wonder how much one of those
models with the fridge and vibrating massage cost? Seriously, as much as I
say this was a cost cutting move, I have so much consumer surpus now it is
not even measurable. But the truth remains for less that I was paying for
My ISP/DSL and Phone, I am getting Cable a Digital Video Recorder, Cable
Modem and local phone. The internet is faster, and the recpetion of our
local UHF stations is flawless plus I get the low poer UPN and the no-power
WB from Louisville. That in addition to my CNBC, Fine Living, HGTV and
Aqua Teen Hunger Force. And more Will & Grace than I can shake a stick at. And this morning I was able to record a horrible film form the 70s that I thought I dreamt up for the longest time. It shall remain nameless.
###
Kronick

Money

Ugh - I made some mistakes in my check book, and they snowballed into $200 in negative, through fees and adjustments. Thankfully, my old boss lent me $400 and another friend gave me $200. I am going to assume the latter was a loan. I'll send a thank you note assuming such and see what her reply is. She has a lot of money, but is rather thrifty with it. She's always trying to make more ready cash.

I can pass around a lot of blame here, but ultimately I was not careful, and I did go on a spending spree these past two weeks. I wonder if it was a manic state? I used to think I bought stuff when I was depressed, but I have been in great moods for quite a while - currently as well.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Convergence

I've been trying to figure out a way to get cable into my budget and spend no more money. I figured out how. I got rid of my phone, my DSL and my ISP - added Digital Phone, Broad Band Cable Internet and digital Cable with DVR and am spending less per month. How exciting. In September the price goes up to be $5 more than I am paying now. That will give me enough time to get my webhosting switched. I have expensive DSL - half my bill come from my ISP and half from my phone company. So between the two of them I'd been paying almost $125 a month. Yikes.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

New Body

I am feeling great in my new skin. Its so weird. I am not sure if I am exuding confidence, or if I am a bit cocky. But, people are being nicer to me. Maybe I am noticing it more, and attributing it to my new skinny body. Chas, the skinny guy at work, thinks I am skinnier than he is. But in a side by side comparison, Chas was thinner. But I am more pronounced because my frame is larger, my shoulders are broader, and my hips are thicker. In other words, I have the V body I have dreamed of. Too bad it took until I was 40 and a heart patient.

I found stretchy Tees at Target and am loving them. My Japanese ball shirts are also snug, in that the follow my body to the thin parts, then flows back over my hips when they are not tucked in. Donna said that made me look skinnier than with just the black stretchy Tee. She also said I am getting a bit vain. I'll need to keep that in check. She's cutting me slack for a bit, but I think I need to get used to it if I plan on staying this way

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Other Drivers

Other drivers can make me mad, a list of gripes.

• People that turn at 45 degree angles, at intersections, in parking lots. It is like they have lost the ability to turn a steer wheel beyond the ten and two positions.
  
• Impatient left lane passing not allowing you to get in the slow lane if you tried.
  
• People talking on cell phones while maneuvering in a parking structure
  
• the 45 degree backing out of a parking spot behavior
  
• treating my road like a grand prix raceway, and acting like I knew they'd be coming around the curve over the hill 10 miles an hour over the limit.
  
• DVDs playing in the dashboard
  
• timid left turners
  
• impatient right turners that will turn right in front of you from the left
  

Linens 'n Things - Kikkerland Invisible Playing Cards

Linens 'n Things - Kikkerland Invisible Playing Cards these are kind of cool. - I had a perfectly horrible day of shopping. This despite spending about $200. It was mostly ok, until I got to Kohl's. Because I have changed sizes so much in clothes, I asked someone in the men's department if there was a way I could get my neck and sleeves measured. I always forget them anyway. She said "I can give you a tape measure". I gave up on fitted dress shirts and thought I would get some underwear. They do not carry my size. Apparently Kentucky Men and Boys between 28-32 inch waists do not shop at Kohls. Target does. Linen N Things was better shopping experience wise, but with only oneee check out clerk and customers a mile long, the experience suffered a bit.

Old time rock and/or roll

Here is another from the shoot, I was on the furniture. I broke all the rules. Just wait until I get the rest of the pictures edited. Very John Waters, they are.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

The Hot Boi

Met a hot boi Saturday night. Don't know his real name. I was up in the DJ booth, and the lights went out. I looked down and saw this boi plugging them back in, after he tripped over them, trying to come up. He was one of the amateur strippers trying to give me his music. After that initial encounter, he was all smiles to me the rest of the weekend. When he asked me to for his music back, he kissed me on the cheek. The next day he did not recognize me all snazzed up. In my black tie, and clean shaven, I guess I looked pretty different. But he still kept smiling. He leapt up at the occasion to help me hang my clothes. Sad thing is I don't know his name. He went by Adrian while dancing but I think it may really be David. He looks very studious, all dressed up, but his bod is killer chicken. I am not a chicken hawk, but the way his back joined his bubble butt made my toes curl. And from the smiles his may have been curling too. I wonder if he has any idea how old I actually am. I did look pretty good that night. My friend Nattie came up with the rest of the music saying "I cannot handle how hot you are!".

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

House Sitting.

I am finished house sitting tonight, and am so tired and this is a big weekend. Movie tomorrow At 1:00 The girls are back from Italy. They found their surprises right away.
-kevin3.blogspot.com

Court Days

Its coronation weekend. I have 2 drag shows to go to this weekend, a dinner I am skipping and the big election on sunday, show, and awards.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Off Plan Spontaneous

Here is a spontaneous creation that was off-plan from my photo shoot yesterday. I am wearing one person's PJs and the other's hat, while sitting on their toilet.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Photo shoot

My stint of house sitting is just about over. The girls come back from Italy tomorrow night. Today I had a photographer come over and take shots of me air-guitaring to "Old Time Rock & Roll" in tighty whities, Oxford, tube socks and black sunglasses. I also did the unthinkable and dressed up my dog in scooby doo underpants and sunglasses for a couple poses. For bonus shots I had the last minute brainstorm idea was to have him snap pictures of the cleaning/yard girl and myself - Licking everything in the house. We're licking the couch, the stove, food in the fridge, the sink, faucet, shoes, their bras, we're in their matching pajamas on their bed, licking their hats, I am posing for a painting while licking something phallic, we're drinking the plant food water we were warned not to drink, we were licking licking licking.

If you do not understand why, rent Pink Flamingos.

The best of the risky business pic is going in the house somewhere tomorrow, the rest will be put in an album entitled "What we did why they were in Italy". From Kevin & Sarah.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Girthy

Ball Park franks has this commercial out now where this hungry guy is
estolling the virtues of thick weiners. "Gurthee" he says as close to sexy
as a guy like the King of Queens can get. It reminds me of the "does size
matter?" debates that go on in women's and men's magazines everywhere. Yes
I ahve seen the debates in Maxim and Men's Health. Its seems length does
not matter as much as width. Length can make an issue with pressing on
stuff, and it only seems to make a difference with the motion, where with
the girth, you definately know. I definately know, as do my partners.
###
Kevin
don't go to
yourblogname.blogpot.com
drop the "s" of a blogspot blog and it goes someplace special...

House Sitting

I am house sitting this weekend for my former bosses. I've been in and out
since Wednesday night. Their cat is diabetic and must be given shots twice
a day. I am splitting my time between my house and theirs. Its kind of
nice to have cable tv and central air. My window unit works pretty well in
the one room its in, but the rest of the house, can get fairly warm. I am
also working on projects around their house; like fine tuning their surround
sound system, getting their cable upgraded, getting their car serviced.
Meanwhile my dogs romp around in the back yard, which is apparently the best
place ever.

That party Thursday night sure lifted my spirits. Although I did eventually
start taking the elevator between floors, I did not feel terribly sick. I
did tire out a bit around 10:00 which was not suprising. I would expect
after about 7 trips up and down the very long flights, it would make most
people winded. I did probably over explain why I was not drinking. But
that is pretty normal for me back during my 1.0 period too. I am a born
explainer and educator. But I am still feeling fondly how well it went.
And how much of a LARGE time I had.

K3.0

After The Party

The party went better than I had hoped. I kept my chin up, but was worried it may have been a bust. But it went very well. My clothes were a hit. But a personal highlight for me was taking off my shirt and having liquid latex applied to my chest, back and face. After which, I had 3 over sized beads and my pearled cat mask. Very cool. In other news, apparently a tornado went through town, and no one at the party noticed.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

White Fabulouso

I had trouble finding a sailor's cap today. Two stores I expected to have them, did not. So I adjusted my plan. Out with sailor, in with non-descript Liegh Bowery style design.

I came up with what I am doing. I bejeweled a mask with faux pearls. I am going to shave my head, and paint on some hair. I'll wear the tight pants and the cute white leather tenners I found yesterday, and my ribbed collarless shirt. I'll probably have several strings of long faux pearls as well. I mean perhaps 5 foot strands.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Prespending

I am house sitting this week for my old boss. I am getting $250 for it. I need to give their cat a shot twice a day. I bought a wireless network for my house with the future proceeds. I figure I'll spend half on this, and put the other half toward my Home Equity loan. I need to get that paid off. All "found money" should go to it, in addition to the regular payment. But I have been so scrimping lately, I had some pent up demand.

I am going to counseling weekly, and I hope to get my spending sprees under control. Meanwhile, I want wireless.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

--ORIGINAL MSG: Scorpio: Your career is stressful these days. But overreacting will make things worse. Astrol -kevin3.blogspot.co

White Glorious White

I confirmed I am on the guest list for the White Party. I hit the thrift shops. I found 3 potential pairs of white pants that fit. With my weight loss, as of late, I am pretty sure the white pants I own would be baggy. And going through what I did to lose those inches, I am not going to be wearing baggy pants. All three happen to be women's. Yes I wear women's pants for some of my fabulous outfits. These all also happen to accentuate my unit. Not a bad thing.

I am definitely wearing a sailor cap. And my resourcefulness comes to the rescue. I was trying to figure out how to fabulous it up. I as thinking glitter, or sequins. Then I noticed the 2 hundred foot rolls of string of pearls Christmas garland I got at close out 2 years ago. Imagine an unbroken strand winding its way up the outer rim.

I am not sure if I'll want to wear my seaman's jumper. I want to bedazzle the black on that too.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Canastabilia

How is that for a word? When I started buying up vintage card decks, I also started picking up "Canasta sets" essentially the same as bridge decks. I have cute score pads, score pad holders, even a card table overlay. When I have my card party and absinthe drinking party I'll be able to showcase them. But the cards were mainly old whitmans. I'd be better off using new cards for the actual games so I do not run the risk of ruining them.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

The wagon

I am blaming my weight gain on the alcohol I drank last week. I gained 3 pounds in five days, which was enough for the physical therapists to say had I not lost it, they would have called my Dr about it. What seems to happen is my liver swells against my stomach. I remember being told my liver was in bad shape when I was in the ER last February. I kind of dropped the temperance idea once I started hearing the benefits of red wine etc. But my anecdotal evidence suggests I have nothing to lose by cutting it out. But, if I have a weight relapse again, I will then know it was not the alcohol.

Granted I know, 161.5 pounds was nothing to worry about for my large framed 5'9" body. But the speed of the weight gain over 5 days, suggested it was fluid backing up. For me a sign of something far more serious than retaining water.

I tested negative for hepatitis, so my liver problems are not related to that.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Card Party and Absinthe Night

I am close to having my house ready for a party. I want to start with something small. Maybe 8 people and cards. Two tables of 4. We could play "progressive Canasta". I could also explore exposing them to some of my vintage out of print commercial card games. I have thought about suggesting this event at the Gay Pride center, but a lot of the people that would go, are not people I want as friends. Nice people, but a little dull. Possibly of the shut-in variety. I should talk, as I am practically a hermit at the moment. But I do not shun crowds.

I wanted to do an Absinthe party in April, but my detour through the hospital put that on hold for a while. My friend Marc goes to Spain a lot, and brought back some Absinthe for me, but did not get enough for me. I have the "absente" USA Legal relation to absinthe, and two spoons.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

White Party

There is a white party this Thursday at Voce. Bob asked if I wanted to be an atmospheric model again, like when I was Neptune for the Rockus Bacchus event at the civic center. This basically means I get in free, get to dress fabulous, and basically be the superstar I like to be. No I am modest, really. Who does not like to be a superstar? Sofar I am thinking of a totally white sailor suit, covering the black with white sequin. Sequining up the sailor cap and all. It should be good. Trouble is, I have a job interview the next morning. Should I reschedule? Probably.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Sibelius

My aunt told me not too long ago, that we were related to Sibelius through marriage. I have searched for the link, but have had no success. The reported link is my grandfathers mother's sister, his aunt. I Guess that would make Jean my great grand uncle? The problem with the story is, she was reportedly his "second wife" and all biographys have hijm married to Aino and preceeding her in death. Was second wife a euphomism for mistress?

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Dreams

I had a dream last night. We were all at my grandparents old house. My family, an un-named man and myself. Somehow it became time for bed, me and the other guy stayed up. It became apparent to me sleeping arrangements had not been made, and there were no beds. I secretly did not mind the prospect of sleeping with this man, but did not know where it would happen. I think we may have assumed we'd sleep together but everyone else scattered through the beds. I woke my mom complaining there was not place for "us" to sleep. There were plenty of people sleeping single in a double bed. Despite there only being two bedrooms in my grandma's house.

later in the same house, we were discussing lunch. I remember saying, as long as it does not have mayonnaise. My grandma said "everything has mayo here", I replied I'll have to scrape it off then or make a new one.

--
Ok so is the sleeping thing a way of addressing my Mom's inability to deal with my being gay? Is the mayo incident a reminder I have to be diligent with my careful eating? Everything has mayo, seems to be close to everything has sodium.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Reuse, recycle, redecorate

One good thing about being a packrat with plenty of storage space, is I an accumulate, and ultimate redecorate on a whim with virtually no budget. My attic, basement and garage is filled with accessories and art that I rotate throughout the house, as my tastes change. My living room is moving toward a 60s mod look, by bedroom that of a fish camp, my TV room will resemble a small theatre, my kitchen an Asian theme and my windows will be in primary colors. My back yard is destined to become Grecian. Not ancient, but white and blue like the Greek Isles.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Gay.com Health

Natural alterives to Viagra?
Gay.com Health: "3. Perineum flexors: A lot of men spend hours at the gym trying to beef up their bodies so they can be sexy, but fail to exercise the most important muscle of all. The perineum is the point between the scrotum and the anus. According to the vedic scriptures of India, this is where the kundalini energy enters the body. Kundalini energy is what 'puts the air in our tires,' so to speak. The more open we can make this area, the more energy gets pulled in and thus the more intensely we get aroused. To exercise this area, lie on your back with the soles of the feet touching; let the bent knees drop toward the floor. Now begin to squeeze and release the perineum about 50 times. If you are having trouble isolating this muscle, imagine pulling the testicles back toward your anus. Each contraction should take about one second as should each release. Although you should feel immediate results, you should do this daily to really keep the pilot light on. "

Chevy Equinox

Now there is a second commercial that is using my theme song as its jingle. For the Chevy Equiniox. Earlier I was shocked to hear it for a clothing store in Minneapolis. But now its a car commercial? I do like pulling out of my driveway with it palying in the CD Player

the song is Mini Skirt by Esquivel

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Opening up

I was pretty honest on my other blog today. The one my mom reads. I wonder if it will get any reaction. Basically I am sick of talking about being sick. How are you doing is startinhg to get on my nerves. I realize it is people caring about me. Its not like they are asking, so how much did you make last year? They're not being nosy, but I want to be more than a sum of my injurys.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Procrastination

I am having a difficulty time accomplishing things right now. I think I am lilting into a depression again. Fortunately I have an appointment with a counselor next week. If I can get through this week. Things weighing on me now include my messy house, my undone bankruptcy, my animals, and obviously my health. I am also not looking forward to looking for work. I don't want to not work either. I am really torn. I know I will not be able to live on disability income and am forbidden to make more than $800 a month.

My budget is hovering in the $2000s per month. Over $500 of that is medicine. I may have found cheaper sources for some of it.

Things I can do to motivate myself.
make shorter lists - did it
perhaps I can focus on the goal of what the actions will do.
Treat it like a promise to myself.
Understand by putting it off, I'll still have to do it.
Understand the sooner it is done, the sooner it is not hanging over my head.
As I write these out, it all makes so much sense.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Welcome to Cicada Watch 2004

Welcome to Cicada Watch 2004

BBC E-mail: Trillions of cicadas to plague US

** Message **


** Trillions of cicadas to plague US **
The eastern US is bracing itself for what scientists say will be the largest insect emergence on Earth.



** BBC Daily E-mail **
Choose the news and sport headlines you want - when you want them, all
in one daily e-mail

** Disclaimer **
The BBC is not responsible for the content of this
e-mail, and anything said in this e-mail does not necessarily reflect
the BBC's views.

If you don't wish to receive such mails in the future, please e-mail
webmasters@bbc.co.uk making sure you include the following text: I do
not want to receive "E-mail a friend" mailings.

Flat Stomach

Today I was laying on a hospital bed, waiting for a echo test. I looked at my stomach and it was kind of concave. I thought to myself - why am I sucking my stomach in? I didn't think much of it, I felt it and it did not feel as though I was sucking it in. Tonight I was in the recliner, and I had the same sensation. My rib cage was more prominent than my belly. I thought why I am I sucking my stomach in? I then realized I was not sucking it in at all. It was getting flatter. Granted since I lost weight it has not been like its been since 1986, 18 years. I have added a few inches since I was released. It was soft stuff, not hard like it was. But I think rehab is getting rid of what little fat I have added since release. Fat is turning to muscle. My arms are toned, my legs are toned. I may have a body fat percentage measured this Friday. It should be the end of the standard rehab of 4 weeks. In any case, I am finally seeing results of my working out. Smile.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

A New Way to post

this is a new way to post - via email. I can sms form my phone.

###
Kevin
kevin3.blogspot.com

Illusions

I finished Illusions: the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah today. It was a follow up to Jonathon Livingston Seagull, with a lot of the same personal empowerment mantra.
Cool quote from it on Kevin 3.0

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Jaeger Mobile Defaced

Someone stole my Jaegermeister novelty license plate. It took a while, meaning I have had it quite a while. I am pretty sure it happened in the parking garage at Central Baptist. But it may have happened across the street from Busters. I'll never really know. It was a quick job in that they took frame and all. It bugs me, but I'll get over it. In the grand scheme of things, its just stuff. I did like that I had one of only three in the entire city. Greg did hook me up. I still have the Jager Bottle molded ashtray and the Varsity jacket. Too many shirts, and key chains to count. I'll get over it. I just don;t like that some punk felt he could just take it off my truck.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

Not so bad

I broke them down into the smallest steps possible and only did what was possible at the moment. I took breaks and moved on. going to a prjoct based system of to-do in the planner than daily. Much easier to keep track of.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
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Overwhelmed

I have huge task lists at the moment.
argh. Well I can get started on them. some of them are order sensitive.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind conscious of what is right.
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All

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
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Body Image

I am beginning to know how an anorexic feels when s/he looks in a mirror. I look in the mirror with my new light weight self, and I see a belly. Profile wise I do not have to suck it in for my stomach to be lined up with my chest. My bmi is 23 which is just below average, and within the "healthy" range. My body fat percentage is 17% which is also in that range. I gained three pounds and am holding and act like I am grossly overweight. The above figures reflect the new "higher weight". Actually the weight gain may be attributed to putting on muscle. I have got to take it seriously when people tell me how skinny I am.

I look around and I see skinny people all over. How non-special it really is. I used to think no one was that skinny. Weird.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
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Aquarium

I want to add fish to my aquarium. Is it a want or a need? Clearly it is not a physical need. I do not need more fish in my aquarium to live. I do find watching the aquarium relaxing. I need to relax. Rehab is encouraging me to take relaxation class at CBH. I know watching Angel Fish is about as relaxing as I have ever seen. Perhaps I can justify buying a pair of angelfish today. I'll go to Eastland Pets. If I see some I like, I'll buy. I also want a male betta for my Lily Oasis. I think I will keep that in my bedroom.
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rant
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Netflix

I noticed today that Netflix has a Louisville address now. Atlanta had been the closest to me. It should get my movies back to them faster. I am pretty happy. I al going to stick with the 3 out plan, as the 5 out plan is another $10, and last time I was on 5 it was like work. I had a movie marathon yesterday, watched 2. watched a 3rd today. Now I have to send 3 back, and I will not have any until at least wed or thur.
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rant
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I'd Pick More Daisies

A goof off friend gave me a copy of this poem when I was in highschool. I remember showing it to our teacher. Discouraged, she said to me, he should probably pick less daisies.

I'd Pick More Daisies

My Minnesota Thrift Shop Finds

I had some lucrative days finding vintage.

At Ragstock I was able to acquire

• Vintage Tuxedo pants, in my new size


• two Japanese Baseball Jerseys, Two!!!


• a Kimono - I am kicking myself for not getting the Obi.

At the Salvation Army I was able to pick up

• a set of Fondue Forks


• a Clue


• Catch 22


• Home Designer Color forms


• I wish I had seen the kitschy kitchen chairs in Lexington, and I would have snapped them up too

all in all, fun. Despite the controversy with my parents, who are supporting me now. Spending money I do not have on things I do not need. But a $4 Kimono - Please!
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rant
I am an empathetic person. Especially after what I have been through, but I am losing mine for Wilford Brimley. All I see on TV is him telling me about diabetes testing supplies and nebulizors. mm Enough already get a new job.
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Men's News Daily

Men's News Daily: Political News, Sports News, Car Talk, Sex News, Dating, Health News, Entertainment News, Science and Technology, Business News

Motto

Home: "Mens conscia recti"
is a motto of "Phillips"

Mind concious of what is right.
sounds a lot like my "code"

Chrissie

I talked to Chrissie in New York the other day. She is now a chef in one of New York City's better restaurants Gramercy Tavern. Pretty good job placement there Ms. Chef.

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rant
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Mini Skirt

Imagine my shock to hear my "theme song" in an ad on TV. It is for a clothing store in Edina called Len Druskin. Mainly designer jeans.
Len Druskin at the Galleria

I think I am destined to go there and buy some diesels in my new size 31 or 32.

Post op recovery

I have been an emotional basket case periodically. I have bust into tears like I am watching some sappy movie. I guess in a way, I am living out one. I am still humbled by relying on my parents for money and support like some bug over grown teenager. When I get back to Lexington, I am going to have to take care of my financial issues. I am pretty sure its 7. With the medical bills and my unlikely candidacy for disability, I honestly have no choice.

I do have many plans for my life then, though. I am going to seize the opportunities, make plans. Follow through on them, creating my legacy, which was, incidentally, my New Year's resolution.
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Post Recovery Job ideas

A big thing on my mind is what is next? Will I be considered disabled? I am pretty sure I will need a desk job. Less stress. I am considering quite a litany of options. Here are some in no particular order.

• Get at Job at UK


• Do the books at Mia's


• Be a writer


• Sell Fulton on eBay


• Become a Private investigator


• Be disabled on disability


• Tend Bar


• A combination of many of these


• Model - emphasizing my scars


• Market my food ideas


• Patent my invention

Granted, quite a list. I am not going to stress about this. I am very fortunate that I am able to take it easy. That my family can handle supporting me for a while.

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Real Good News

My heart shrank a size. Not only has the rest of my body dropped inches, but my enlarged heart has too. I am so proud of my body. What it has been through the last several nmonths, to be bouncing back so well, makes me want to take care of it more than I ever have. But, considering where my baseline is, I can only go up. Thing is, the best thing I can say I did for my body was making sure I had all my vitamins, and ate a balanced diet. Until I got sick, and did not eat much at all. But it did help me drop some flab I was carrying.
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Gumbo Ya-ya Redux

I got to go to Gumbo Ya-ya yesterday. I had the traditional Jambalaya. I had hoped for the pasta Jambalaya, which was one of my faves at Yat's and Regina's. According to the early March Menu, I cannot expect it for a bit. I'll be back.
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My Dad, My Hero

I told my dad he was my Hero. I have long thought the highest of my Dad, and have never told him. I was fighting back tears as I said it. I told him how much I admire him, and strive to be like him. How I talk about him to other people. And how I name him when asked who my hero is. He could not believe it. He always felt he was a terrible father. He said h worked all the time because he thought he had to, to do as well as everyone else. He said a lot of his success was luck, and being in the right place at one time. I did not have the energy to go into my "you make your own luck" theories, but maybe for a latter day. His moral code is so high, I think he was put into the right place in the right time kharmically so he could reap rewards that he deserved. His personal modesty would not allow him to strive for gain, so they almost had to be put upon him like they were.

It was a very emotional father / son moment. When a person faces their mortality, like I have, I think they learn they cannot delay. Had I died on the operating table (either time) I never would have said it. I am very glad I did. Joy noticed that my dad seemed to be very proud of me. I asked what for? And she could not put her finger on it, but I think she mentioned my inventiveness, my ability to make friends and real friends at that. I think my pure stubbornness and determination to live through all this impressed him as well. He admitted to her, and later to me, he is surprised I lived through early 2004. That I "Should not be alive" means, a weaker person would have died. I had been saying that all along.
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rant
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Well it was heart failure.

This blog may well fall to the wayside, and my life turns another direction.
My cough and all related were indicative of congestive heart failure. I started a new blog
kevin3.blogspot.com to keep a journal on that journey. It is Kevin 3.0 this blog represents 1.0, I am counting my transition from then to after the resolution as 2.0 . The 3.0 blog will include that stuff, since it is mostly on my mind.
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GUMBO YA YA CARRIES ON CAJUN TRADITION

Lexington Herald-Leader | 02/06/2004 | GUMBO YA YA CARRIES ON CAJUN TRADITIONof Yat's: "Posted on Fri, Feb. 06, 2004





GUMBO YA YA CARRIES ON CAJUN TRADITION


Joe Vuskovich brought fast-food Cajun to Lexington in 1989 when he opened several Jozo's Bayou Gumbo restaurants around Lexington and Yats Cajun restaurant in South Hill Station. He has moved to Indiana, but he gave his recipes to friend Greg Todd, who opened Gumbo Ya Ya last month.
It's at 1080 South Broadway, next to Buffalo Wild Wings. The menu at Gumbo Ya Ya features red beans, turkey creole, jambalaya, maque choux (Cajun succotash), spinach and mushroom etouffee, and white chili, all of which are served over rice or penne pasta. The only sandwich on the menu is the yatwich, a spicy sloppy Joe made with turkey and served over focaccia bread.
Hours are 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Thursday and 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Friday and Saturday. Call (859) 252-9292."

nuvo.net / The book of Joe

nuvo.net / The book of Joe Vuskovich

Scream therapy

Just as I was beginning to doubt my sanity, I seemed to make progress. I have been unable to cough anything up for quite a while. Screaming at the top of my longs for sustained periods of time, seemed comforting. Please, that does not seem all that normal to me. However, soon thereafter, I was able to cough up some phlegm, and feel much better. I am not too please it is pink, and that can be a sign of congestive heart failure. But I did just down a bag of tarts n tinys.

It seems I have gas bloating. I wonder if it is causing pressure on diaphram? I bought some Milanta. will be taking Bismuth later too to ease, the "back up".

God I am old.
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rant
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Lutherans and Catholics

I just remembered this. When I was in grad school, a fellow student told me he was asked "what's the difference between Lutherans and Catholics?" and his response was "Lutherans don't believe in Mary". He realized after he had said it that it was humorous, and he was right.

The Great Lutheran Mary Denialists.
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rant
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CBS

Has CBS Become the Cry Baby System? It seems everytime they turn around they are apologizing for something - Janet's Boob, Outkast's Indian Dance...

I kind of want to try and start an outrage about something so I can see if it moves them to apologize.

• Price is Right keeps changing announcers.
  
• Dan Rather's suits are of mixed fibers.
  
• CSI seems to be on all the time.
  
• Everybody does not always love Raymond.
  
• The Survivor All-stars were not.
  
• The "eye" logo looks like a big breast with a nipple shield.
  
• King of Queens title makes me think it is about Drag Queens.
  
• Two and a Half men makes me think it is about a hermaphrodite.
  

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rant
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Barber College

I have been mulling over a career change, and am thinking of cosmetology or barber college. I would use it as a path to salon owning. I know that a degree is not necessary, but it would be a goods insite into the business. The Barner school here is baileys, the Cosemtology programs are Kaufman, Lexington Beauty, and Central Kentucky vo-tech.
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rant
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Not doing very well

I am not doing very well with my promise about the dogs. Boudain has not been out without a leash. I do not even let him free in the holey fence back yard.
nor very well on my Latin challenge.
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rant
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Valentine's Day

Another profitable Valentine's day at the restaurant. As long as we do not get another ice storm. Last year was great, and would have been wonderful, but for a minor natural disaster. This year I hope to kick start my personal economy.

I have to admit, I got real tired of the complements I received on my valentines outfit. I am very lucky that I have a good eye for style, and color. I did not plan the outfit, through it together at the last minute, and you would think I was walking the runways in Milan. Carson would be so proud. It was a pretty simple outfit. A red blazer, a crisp white shit, black tuxedo pants and patent leather shoes.
accessories included a red bow tie, that was tied in a Windsor knot, stuffed through a one inch large pearl ring pin. A Pin that looked like a giant ring, placed where a tie tack would go. The Faux Pearl was the size of a marble. In the pocket I had a yellow flourish scarf, that ended up looking like a flower almost. As I was putting it together, this was the process. Out of shower "I think I have a red blazer...." I did, then got the shirt and pants and shoes together. Looking through my ties, I found the red bow. I then looked in the mirror, and felt I need to take focus away from all the red, the yellow scarf fit the bill perfectly. I then wanted a tie tack. I was in a hurry, I was not sure where my limited collection of tie tacks were. I did know where my box of jewelry I bought wholesale was. Then I saw the giant ring pin - and knew it'd be perfect for my use. Sure I do not want to seem immodest, but I was overwealmed with compliments, as though people were breaking doors down to give me one. I now know what it is like to be a pretty girl, constantly being hit on or complimented. You become numb.
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rant
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No appointment is needed. Hours for testing are 8:00 am thru 4:00 pm, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and 8:00 am thru 6:30 pm on Wednesday
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rant
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Unity Anthem

Unity Anthem was written by a guy that I think I knew from HEAF. This guy is a broadway opera singer, Mike Zegarski was a singer. I saw his picture and it definately could have been him. I am thinking about emailing him for more infor about his anthem, and seeing if he recognizes the name.

Yuck

Someone I barely have contact with, caught scabies. Now, every time I have a patch of dry skin, or a rash, I am positive I have it too. Then reality sets in. I have heard such horror stores about that nasty parasite, I am completely paranoid. I remember as an undergrad reading about a stray lice infected cat wandering around the dorm complex. Having picked up a cat the weekend before, I was positive I was totally infested. I walked around with a 'boggin on until I went to the Dr and he cleared my head. Later much later, I did catch crabs, and I realized what an infestation was like first hand. The virulence of that particular strain,k I believe, is the root of my current anxiety on scabies.

My health is in such a state of disrepair, I am at a loss. My asthma and chronic cough are cause for others to have concern as well. The Donnellys are quite concerned. This has lasted so long, I think I want to be tested again. I am notoriously safe, but I have got to get rid of that nagging doubt. I have never had an illness linger so. Granted, its been a flow. Flue in December, leading into chest cold, all of which aggravated my asthma. I know, but I hate it.
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rant
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I have no brakes.

Ok no quick brakes. Its like I am driving on Ice all the time. I have GOT to make an appointment to get them fixed. In the mean time its da' bus and taxicabs. Ugh. Inconvenience vs. expense. Tough choice.
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rant
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I am Jacques Lacan

You are Jacques Lacan! Arguably the most important
psychoanalyst since Freud, you never wrote
anything down, and the only works of yours are
transcriptions of your lectures. You are
notoriously difficult to understand, but at
least you didn't talk about the penis as much
as other psychoanalysts. You died in 1981.


What 20th Century Theorist are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oddly I rarely do write anything down. I do not document my costumes, all are brief and momentary.
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Super Dull

I left my truck downtown My brakes are real bad. Need to get them replaced. I guess I'll have to take care of that tomorrow. I can get up early and get down there and take it in to Autotech for that.

I am not watching the game tonight. I'll probably be watching QE.

This imaginary girlfriend thing is weird. Its like cyber sex prostitution. I mean most cyber relationships get too intimate too quick already. Now you have to pretend its real knowing its not, as opposed to pretending its real thinking it is.

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rant
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Imaginary Girlfriends?

How odd.

eBay item 3173327986 (Ends Feb-06-04 12:46:53 PST) - I could be your imaginary girlfriend: "I'm sure most of you have heard about the newest thing.... Imaginary Girlfriends. Well, now you have a chance to make me your imaginary girlfriend.
A little about myself, I am originally from Tokyo, Japan, but we moved to Beverly Hills before I was two years old. I have no memory of Japan at all. I am 21 years old, and attend the California School Of Medical Sciences.
Here is what you get with the deal: A one month IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND
Email: I can email you once or twice a week and talk about whatever you want me to, provided it isn't distasteful.
At the end of the month, I will send you an email begging me to take you back (or whatever you want) since you will be breaking up with me.
Terms and Conditions: This is fantasy, not reality This in no way makes me your actual girlfriend.
The month begins after I receive payment.
There will be no phone calls and no nude pics. Sorry, but I'm not into that stuff.
If you are the winner, your 30 days will begin as soon as I recieve payment.
Upon payment, please email me with the information on what you want, and how we met.
This may be your only chance to have a California Girl!!"
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rant
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Latin

How weird, at the exact moment I was going to check the shipping status of my Latin books, my screen door opened and the package was here.
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rant
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Hot or not?

Joining the blog hot or not craze

Is my Blog HOT or NOT?
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rant
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Hawaii

I found out from my sister that my parents are in Hawaii. Great for them. I am a bit surprised that they did not tell me they were going. I guess its just another example of our growing communication problem.

True I did not want to go home for Christmas because it was so awful last year. But I did not feel there was any sorrow on their side too. I need to be able to visit without having to stay at their house. They have turned into tyrants within their house. They set rules on me they would never enforce on other relatives staying over. I cannot believe they gave me a guilt trip because I slept until 11:00. Such that I did not feel I was able to visit any of my friends for fear of further insulting my parents. I was so angry Christmas (2002) day that I went down to my room and packed and was going to take a cab to the airport and wait it out. That is until my nephew Jack came in to see what I was doing. Once the kids got there, everything was ok, but nothing was resolved. I think it was the lingering irritation from the fight, that continues to this day. I cannot remember what it was about, but I know it was pretty bad. I am not mad at them, I just think they have no respect for me nor treat me like an adult.

Of course I was dethroned as #1 son once Jack was born. That was fine. A man in his 30s (at the time) does not really need to be treated like a child. Trouble seems to be, though, a man in his 40s does not either.
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Asthma

My asthma is pretty bad. My lingering cough is almost exactly correlated with my asthma. When I take my Bronkaid the coughs go away, and return 4 hours later, exactly when the pills wear off. The pills have ephedra in them. I winder if there could be some kind of interaction with my adderall. I know it cuts my appetite. I wonder if my Asthma is here to stay, or it will get better like it did when first diagnosed?
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pick ups

Monday. When asked "whats going on now?" by Nick, I should have said could be anything. I said "Nothing". But I was feeling like crap and would not have had much fun. I had him listed as a P/u style trick only.

Oh well. I have missed chances before, I will again. But honestly the sick feeling was pretty bad.
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Posted on Tue, Jan. 27, 2004

Snow facts

• Duluth has recorded more than 39 inches of snow in January, the third-snowiest January on record and one of the top-10 snowiest months on record.



• Duluth has more than 27 inches of snow on the ground for the first time since March 2001.



• The 70 inches of snow that has fallen so far this season is more than the 56.3 inches that fell all of last winter.

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