found this oddity in a newgroup:


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I LOVE GAY MECCA
(a bawdy 5-minute sketch)

(c) 2003 by Zeke Krahlin


Let's give it up for Jehovah's Queer Witness! Rah!

(While putting on wings:)
Jesus is Back...and he's funnier than electric eels run loose in a boys
locker room!

Whenever I do open mic, I am ALWAYS introduced as "Jehovah's
Queer Witness". And this rainbow sweater with the pink wings have
become my trademark. Along with this Walgreens dragonfly
refrigerator magnet.

The premise of my character is this: Jesus Christ returns to
planet earth, and he's queer as a Susan B. Anthony dollar bill.
So is his Dad, who is also his lover. And they're a couple of
wild and crazy fags.

So how does our Gay Lord make his second coming known to the
masses? Well, he starts out by appearing here and there at open
mics in San Francisco, as a queer standup comic and storyteller.

But he's not very good, though because his Holy Father's spoiled
him rotten (extreme favoritism, you know)...he honestly believes
he's REALLY talented. So how do I pull off playing such a
character? Well, I'm trying!

===============
(Become Jehovah's Queer witness:)

I rock you know. I'm what's happening, dudes...dudettes.

I love Gay Mecca! Every day's a great day, if you're gay... here
in San Francisco. And today was just another typical day for me:

My alarm goes off at 10:30am (I'm unemployed). I roll over and
yawn, when someone buzzes my door. Turns out to be eleven
gorgeous studs delivering me breakfast in bed! Topped off with a
yummy BJ by the slave of my choice...who straddles me the entire
time I butter my toast!

What a way to start the day, huh?

The I pull a triple S (shave shit and shower) and step
out...stroll down Market Street where I walk by this STUNNING
dude...upon whose arm, unfortunately, dangles a chic.

So I says to the lady: "Whoa, dear, I hope you don't mind my
saying this, but dammit, your boyfriend has the most gorgeous
basket I've ever seen on a dude!"

So the guy addresses her: "How come you never say nice things
like this, about me? Where has the romance gone?" Well, they get
into this argument, and I decide "uh-oh, I'd better scram", when
the cute dude tells me to wait up.

He dumps his fiancee for me...can you believe it? And the next
thing you know he's wining and dining me at the Top of the Mark!
He says: "You say such nice things about me. My ex, though, only
thinks about herself...me, me, me...what can my boyfriend do for
me today?"

"That's nice, honey" I say over my third glass of Sparkling Rose.
"Please pass the caviar. And when you're done massaging my feet,
I could use another BJ. My semen's building up again. You were
pretty good last time--not knocking it--but I KNOW you can do
better!"

Well, before we depart, he gives me his card, proposing domestic
partnership. I says: "I'll think about it; don't know if I'm
ready to hang with a multi-millionaire yet...you know how us
renegade counter-culture types are. Let me get back to you."

And it's only 3pm...the day's not even half over! So I decide to
hang out for a while South of Market, at this gay biker bar, Hole
in the Wall, on 8th and Folsom.

There's a new bartender there, Donald, and boy does he make me
happy! Not only does he treat me to all the drinks and ganja I
want, but provides me with my own back room where he gives me the
best BJs I've had this entire week!

But all play and no work makes Jehovah's Queer Witness a dull
savior, so I decide to go home, and work on a new skit. But will
the bartenders and customers of Hole in the Wall let me leave
without first going down on me, each and every one? No, they will
not, God bless 'em! Each and every mouth, a luscious memory!

A hundred and five BJs in less than an hour. How do I do it? I
have no idea why I'm so virile! Leave it to Daddy's queer magic.
Well, just when I buckle my belt and am about to leave, this
bodacious police officer saunters on in, and says (peering around
in the dim light, fondling his handlebar mustachio):

"Where's this Jehovah's Queer Witness fellow who I just heard
back at Mission Station, has the most OUTSTANDING family jewels this
side of the Sierra Nevada?" Well, one thing quickly leads to
another, and I am delayed an ADDITIONAL several minutes before I
could really step out.

Walking home (for the exercise) is a mistake. What should be only
half an hour hike, takes two! I swear, a gorgeous, studly cop at
every corner offers to service me...and does! (In the nearest
doorway of course; I'm nothing if not discrete.)

So I have to just forget about writing that new skit this
evening...else I won't make it here tonight, for the show! So
that, folks, is just a brief list of the MANY reasons I love Gay
Mecca!

And now you ALSO know what queers like me on disability do with
all our spare time... besides trying our hand at stand-up comedy!
Thanks, you're a great audience, but I got fourteen muscle-bound
gang members waiting on the corner out there, dying to show me
their love. Ciao!

---finis

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Zeke Krahlin is 'Jehovah's Queer Witness'
"Breeders are gonna sue the hell outta this prevert!"
-Andrew Twice Laid
http://www.gay-bible.org