This is Huge

\Last night I was reading an article in Vanity Fair about Johnny Cash's last
ten years with his new record producer. It also talkd about June's poor
health.

Somehow, when reading it, I realized I lost my Five -Year fixation. I am
not sure how forthright I have been on this here blog about my 5 year
premonition. I just could not make plans for anything beyond 5 years. I
think I fixated on that timespane because so much of the success literature
refers to success rates before and after 5 years. Well latley my mood has
been very elevated. My "joie d'vie" has been "très magnifique".

I feel like I did at 20.

I was concerned about this 5 year plan. I have heard about a lot of
"anniversary" deaths. People hoping to live for one more Christmas,
birthday, aniversary, new year, or very special episode of "friends". Then
they seem to give up. They attained their goal. One of my goals with
counseling was to get away from that time thought. I kicked it without
realizing it, until last night. Earlier I was reading about this supposed
time travel guy John Titor and what life is supposedly going to be like in
2035. While skeptical I put myself in that year as well, and wondered if I
would like it. I'll be 62 then. It may be a while since I have done
"higher math" but I believe, even given the sorry state of education in
america today, most school children woutl agree that 31 years is greater
than 5 years.
###

ABC7Chicago.com: Blues Brothers, Elvis impersonators con police

It's things like this that I use to explain that I am from Minnesota.
ABC7Chicago.com: Blues Brothers, Elvis impersonators con police

Blues Brothers, Elvis impersonators con police
October 13, 2004 (CRYSTAL, Minn.) — Minnesota police were responding to a call of a convulsing Elvis Presley impersonator -- but they ended up in a high-speed chase with a man dressed as one of the Blues Brothers.

Crystal police say they were called to a veterans hall Monday morning and when they arrived they saw a man dressed as Elvis on the ground convulsing. But when they approached, he jumped up and yelled "Viva Las Vegas!" -- and then started singing show tunes.

At about the same time, two women said a man dressed as John Belushi's character in "The Blues Brothers" had stolen their car and driven to the airport. Police went after him -- and after chasing him around the airport, they caught and arrested him.

The police captain says "it's one of those things that you stop and scratch your head, and you think...'Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"' He says the Elvis impersonator and the fake Blues Brother were drinking together at the VFW. When asked how much they drank, he said blood tests will probably indicate "quite a bit."

(Copyright 2004 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Ugh

My birthday is less than a month away. 41. Last year at this time, I was wracked with depression. On my way to heart failure. This year, I have a whole different attitude. But I am not too excited about it. But hey, its another year that I have been ALIVE. My god, nothing on this earth is guaranteed, even living until 41. I am so glad I started writing this pity fest, because as I spilt out those age cliches I realized how little I believed them. This birthday is going to be my best ever. No one needs to throw a party, I don't care if I get any gifts. I am excited to be alive.


wow

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

down dooby doo down down

I think I need to have the talk with D. I have no spark, and cannot see one developing. Fortunuately, we gays have the luck of turning friends-to-lovers much easier than the straights. So I may just need to have the talk. I'll call him today, and maybe see if he wants to do lunch tomorrow.
--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Philips coat of arms.

[...PLEASE STAND BY...]

###

Naked Day

It was naked day today. I am not sure why I have not done it before. I may have in grad school, but this time, when I left the house, i wore as little as possible. Speedo to let the dos out, just a jock and shorts at the gym.

I even made a point to hang out more naked in the locker room than normal.

When I cooked, I did use an apron, but for heaven's sake, I was sauteeing! By the way, world's best pasta.

I am figuring out a letter to the editor on the smoking ban, but metaphorically. It should be good. I want to do a bit of research on public health outbreaks of history, and be against the efforts to stop them. I am thinking yellow fever, typhoid mary, the 1918 flu epidemic.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

Nook dook a doo

I finally got some last night. Since my surgery I was kind of skittish about doing it. Sure I did visit rosey palm quite a bit, but I was reluctant to play hide the sausage. The book I got about sex after surgery suggested I do not try to prove myself by getting a bunch of new conquests. That presented a dilemma, since I did not have a current anything. When I realized I had boxed myself into a life of celibacy, I rebelled. I decided to contact a former partner I was still comfortable with, and asked if we could start a casual non-committal sexual relationship for a brief time. He agreed. The nature of our relationship has long been something between friend and fuck buddy. So it was perfect. We had kind of drifted apart since he started his new career, but being good friends we could pick up where we left off.

It was great, and I did things I never used to do. I think my heart failure used to affect my performance. I am also in much better shape than I used to be. So vigorous acrobatics were well within my grasp. [bigg smile]

So now I feel I am able to move on and explore. I got my Mojo back, and most of all my confidence that my defib, will not always go off. My relationship with him was even such that we could joke about it going off when we climaxed within seconds of each other. zzzztttt. He said. hehe.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

what a way to spend 9/11 eve.
###

am I crazy? u-B-da-JUJ

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Not surprising. The shrink I saw for my SSI said I was O-C "out the wazooo"

Not sure what histrionic is, but the narciccistic was something I suspected.

I like the sound of schizotypal.

###

Kevin Fillips

[ ♥]

PS: at least I have this to look forward(?) to.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished me to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how I matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

website software

I've used fancy web page software, and I have used bare bones webpage software, I have found some to be easy to use, and some very tedious. Some are easy to fix quick updates, others are near impossible, even if you "know" how. But coffee cup is all the best examples of the good parts of all I have tried.


[ CoffeeCup - HTML Editor & FTP Software ]

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

Hot to trot

Ok, so Wednesday night I work at Buffalo's. I am the corporate insider. I had it out with the town drunk. He called the boss, the boss read his act, and sent him home. Then Freddy showed up. Nice guy. Hot bod. Good Ole' Boy. But very very str8.

the next day I meet Tony. One of those rare moments that my toes curl, and stay that way. Hot, nice, and hinted his is bi. Last night I was completely noninterested in Freddy. Today, I started to question Tony's truth factor. He could very well be a chronic liar. I do think he sugar coats things too much. His roommate/girlfriend issue seems weird. He calls her his roommate, others call her his girlfriend and point to their shared bed in a 2 bedroom apt. And her bitching to him about "where he is" and stuff. He did make a point to tell me that he made a mistake by sleeping with her. I kind of wonder if he is not shacking up in her apartment. That would make sense.

Today when I told my stand up loading dock make out session with a cast member of HBO's Oz - story, he seemed remarkably disinterested. Rachel on the other hand was star struck.

I did invite him to partake in Absinthe this weekend. Lets see if he takes me up on it. He did admit to programming my number in his phone, and was taken aback when he found out I had another number.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

Multimedia Backlog

At work ever have an inbox overflowing with work, you just want to sweep it in the garbage? That's how I am with unwatched movies. My netflix pile is unwatched. My DVR movies are being deleted without watching. I do not know why I just do not let it do it itself, but I go through a culling process. But in defense of that. When I program a capture, so to speak, it is something I think I want to watch. Much like live TV, I can change my mind. Its just there if I "need it". I always have a bank of shows I am interested in watching. Its just the time commitment of a movie that gets me.

I am cleaning house to one. But some of them have subtitles, and I do not speak the native languages. I would never get anything done. I hope you do not fail to see that I said I am cleaning house, yet am some how writing this......

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

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