am I crazy? u-B-da-JUJ

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Not surprising. The shrink I saw for my SSI said I was O-C "out the wazooo"

Not sure what histrionic is, but the narciccistic was something I suspected.

I like the sound of schizotypal.

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Kevin Fillips

[ ♥]

PS: at least I have this to look forward(?) to.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished me to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how I matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

website software

I've used fancy web page software, and I have used bare bones webpage software, I have found some to be easy to use, and some very tedious. Some are easy to fix quick updates, others are near impossible, even if you "know" how. But coffee cup is all the best examples of the good parts of all I have tried.


[ CoffeeCup - HTML Editor & FTP Software ]

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

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Hot to trot

Ok, so Wednesday night I work at Buffalo's. I am the corporate insider. I had it out with the town drunk. He called the boss, the boss read his act, and sent him home. Then Freddy showed up. Nice guy. Hot bod. Good Ole' Boy. But very very str8.

the next day I meet Tony. One of those rare moments that my toes curl, and stay that way. Hot, nice, and hinted his is bi. Last night I was completely noninterested in Freddy. Today, I started to question Tony's truth factor. He could very well be a chronic liar. I do think he sugar coats things too much. His roommate/girlfriend issue seems weird. He calls her his roommate, others call her his girlfriend and point to their shared bed in a 2 bedroom apt. And her bitching to him about "where he is" and stuff. He did make a point to tell me that he made a mistake by sleeping with her. I kind of wonder if he is not shacking up in her apartment. That would make sense.

Today when I told my stand up loading dock make out session with a cast member of HBO's Oz - story, he seemed remarkably disinterested. Rachel on the other hand was star struck.

I did invite him to partake in Absinthe this weekend. Lets see if he takes me up on it. He did admit to programming my number in his phone, and was taken aback when he found out I had another number.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

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Multimedia Backlog

At work ever have an inbox overflowing with work, you just want to sweep it in the garbage? That's how I am with unwatched movies. My netflix pile is unwatched. My DVR movies are being deleted without watching. I do not know why I just do not let it do it itself, but I go through a culling process. But in defense of that. When I program a capture, so to speak, it is something I think I want to watch. Much like live TV, I can change my mind. Its just there if I "need it". I always have a bank of shows I am interested in watching. Its just the time commitment of a movie that gets me.

I am cleaning house to one. But some of them have subtitles, and I do not speak the native languages. I would never get anything done. I hope you do not fail to see that I said I am cleaning house, yet am some how writing this......

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.

This is the motto on the Phillips coat of arms.

PLEASE STAND BY...

###

Archives working

I figured out what was wrong with the archives. I changed the name or something, and it affected the file names of the archive pages, but did not change the links until i republished.

I find it interesting to see my posts, when I was sick, and trying to find out what was wrong. dec - february. most of my writing moved to kevin3 in feb. I still used this as my personal deep thoughts, and things I want to remember.

--Motto--

Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

I talk the talk

I talk the talk about what I throw together to wear, but only rarely do people get to see them when they are not there. I am breaking down my barriers. I am putting up or shutting up. As I get ahold of the pics, and scans I'll post them.

Here is my 4th of July Parade costume from 2001. I had been sporting a zigler-esque handlebar and goatee since I saw Moulin Rouge. The theme was Hawaiian Shirt Day. When I say theme, I do not mean the parade theme, but our personal theme. Our bar, and the bar across the street, declared it Hawaiian Shirt Day. Well the manager of it, and myself did. But they bought into it. Our bar got RW&B Leis, sailor caps, pom poms and stuff. the staff all decided to wear hawaiian shirts. Well for me, the ringleader the preasure was on. So I headed to the fabric store, found appropriate fabrix and had a custom shirt made. Cranking it up a notch, I decided to wear a hawaiian skirt over a petticoat, my stache was waxed to razor points. My feet were behooved with Rollerblades.
--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

The Green Fairy Arrives

And no I am not talking about the Great Gazoo from the Flintstones. A friend of mine picked up a bottle of Absinthe for me in Spain. Oops I mean Spanish Perfume. A little dab behind each ear, and artistes and writers follow me around like cats to a milk truck.

I've had the "fake" stuff since before the end of last year, and I have two of the slotted spoons. I am going to make it a ritual. Supposedly I'll have to consume mass quantities to get the hallucinatory effect. I wonder if that's what we could start calling Jaegerneister blackouts. We Hallucinate we are concious. Or would that be unconscious?
---
a Later Splat Post!
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--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

marzidoats

little lambs eat ivy

Chatty Clerks

Ever wait in a line behind someone that insists on carrying on a conversation with the clerk. First you think its related to the transaction, then you see the give and take of rel conversation. To what end? Lines can be long enough, and that little bit of "golden time" talking with the clerk about their views on the state of NCAA Lacrosse, does not make up for the time wasted getting up to that point.

If there is a line, chit chat should be kept to a minimum. There are ways to be pleasant without feeling the need to pour your heart out to someone. I would not want to live in a society where its like the "Soup Nazi on Seinfeld".

Tonight I did get a 10% discount because the clerk proceeded to tell the indecisive family of 6 in front of me, which colleges are acceptable for her 17 year old to consider. I did not ask. I did not look as exasperated as I felt. I hope. So she must have known how incompetent she was. Not about the conversation, but for not knowing where any of the buttons were on the register. I was waiting to hear "where's the one?" or "The any key?" All the orders were missing something by the time they appeared on the computer screen. Sprinkles on a cone, pecans on a sundae. For me it was the chips in my mocha chip blizzard. This of course was conversation unrelated.

Old grocery clerks are notorious for the chattophilia. Sometimes they get so involved in their off-topics they forget the minor details, like giving you your cash back on your debit card. One even had to ask me how much I got, even though I told her as I was pressing the buttons.

I was in the service industry a long time. I know how special the human connection can be with service people. But you run a risk when you possibly irritate your other and future customers. When I was waiting tables I spread myself around to all the tables at one point in the meal, so some did not feel lesser. It can be very irritating if you feel you have to be best friends with the staff to get any service. For that matter, I made a point to be a bit chatty with strangers. But I did not do it to the detriment of service.

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
###

CRASH

I am pretty forgiving when it comes to movies. I try to figure out the creator's purpose. Once I find out what that is, I can enjoy a movie on its own terms. I think I mentioned this on how I rate movies based on their genre as opposed to all movies on the same scale. That is how "Pajama Party" and "Being There" can both rate 5s in my book.

I can think of only a few movies that I have had trouble with this ability. The one that comes to mind this morning is "Crash". I will not deny it was a powerful movie. I saw it once only, possibly 7 years ago and am still thinking about it. I remember wanting to see i,t because then New Line Films Owner: Ted Turner, delayed it's release until after he sold the company. This contrasts greatly with the recent Disney Miramax 9/11 squabble.

I thought "How dare he?" Sure, he is the owner and all, but David Cronenberg is an artiste, what is he thinking? Crash, if you do not know, is about an underground society of people sexually aroused by car crashes. The concept was just beyond my comprehension. I am pretty sure I finished watching the movie. But then again, I can name only one movie I walked out of a theater on. I decline to name it at this time.

But needing a purpose, I found one. This movie put me in the perspective of sexual misunderstanding. I am a gay man, and I repeatedly hear from my straight brethren that they "do not understand" or "There is now way..." in reference to gay sex. Until seeing this movie, I did not understand that feeling. I always pegged it as some sort of sexually repressed denial. But having seen Crash, and feeling the same way about Crash Fetishes, I have an understanding that "not understanding & never" are indeed possible.

I still did not like the movie, but I liked the effect it had. If that as the directors intent - Bravo! Now I am much more open-minded about people's sexual predications

--Motto--
Mens conscia recti
-a Mind concious of what is right.
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